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Monday, December 06, 2004

Champ VS. The H2

Ok, so, the Hummer is obscene. It's a big middle finger to any notion of polite civic space or environmental responsibility. It's TOO big and TOO much of an ecological nightmare, it just screams "fuck you, your air, your space, your goddamn children" (wait, maybe it's not so bad after all...... joking). As such, it always provoked in me a sense of moral outrage and affronted sensibilities. But it never really scared me. Until now....

I've figured out how Champ measures up against the beast. It doesn't look good:

The H2 measures 189" from snout to tail and 79" at the shoulder (well, roof actually. Just going with that whole "beast" metaphor....).

Our little Champ comes in at 134" long and only 59" high.

If (god forbid) we find ourselves on the same stretch of road, our little guy won't even disturb the sight line of the H2. It could run over us and not even see it happen.

Little Champ's staying in Japan, safely away from such nasty beasties.